Conversations about diversity, equity, inclusion, and anti-racism (DEIA) can be challenging, but they’re essential for creating safer, more equitable spaces for future generations.
Author and facilitator Glenn Singleton offers four agreements for courageous conversations about race:
- Stay Engaged: Remain present, even when emotions arise.
- Speak Your Truth: Share honestly, even when it’s difficult.
- Experience Discomfort: Growth often feels uncomfortable. Make sure to practice self-care.
- Expect and Accept Non-Closure: These conversations are ongoing and may not end in agreement.
For parents, it’s important to model these principles and create safe spaces for children to ask questions. Co-creating conversation agreements (such as defining respectful language) can help children feel supported as they learn and share.
Resources
- They’re not too young to talk about race! (The Children’s Community School)
- Teaching about race (teachingforchange.org)
- Children are not colourblind (University of Wisconsin-Milwaukee)
- Start early to educate about diversity (doinggoodtogether.org)
- Teaching young children about race (socialjusticebooks.org)
- How kids learn about race (embracerace.org)
- It’s never too early to talk about race (learningforjustice.org)
- 5 tips: The preschool years (learningforjustice.org)
- Here’s how to raise race-conscious children (buzzfeed.com)
Video resources
Before, during, and after your courageous conversations
Before the Conversation:
- Clarify your goals and prepare.
- Know your perspective, but stay open to learning.
- Meet your child where they are and acknowledge their values.
During the Conversation:
- Ask questions with curiosity (e.g., “Can you tell me more about that?”).
- Listen actively and reflect back what you hear.
- Use concrete examples.
- Notice your own feelings and body language.
- If you don’t know an answer, commit to finding out and following up.
- Remember: this is an ongoing process, not a one-time talk.
After the Conversation:
- Check in with your child. How are they feeling?
- Reflect on next steps and what you might do differently.
- Be kind to yourself; growth takes time.
Together it can better
If this work is part of a larger learning journey, consider finding an accountability partner or group. Staying committed is easier (and more meaningful) when we learn in community.
An accountability partner can help you:
- Read, watch, and discuss resources together.
- Set challenges (e.g., “Let’s read books by Trans BIPOC authors this month”).
- Ask questions in a safe space.
- Plan and attend events or workshops.
- Role-play difficult conversations.
- Stay motivated and supported during challenging times.
Building accountability fosters connection, growth, and long-term change.